Here are seven questions to ask yourself to determine if a situation cannot be fixed by staying in it:

1. Have you tried everything, but nothing has worked?
2. Have you offered the others involved a workable plan that would be helpful to everyone, but no one is interested?
3. Do you find yourself saying, “This situation would be fine if the other person would change?” Yet, you are well aware that the other party will not change.
4. Have you tried to see things from a different perspective so the situation could be worked out?  However, even when you change your perspective, is there still no resolution?
5. Does everything seem to get worse the more you try?
6. Have you learned anything or gained any new insight from this dilemma?
7. Have you considered the idea of  “fixing” this scenario by focusing on what to change about yourself, and you’ve made some minor and even major changes but to no avail?

If you have considered all seven questions and tried them all, you may want to consider stepping outside the picture and emotionally pulling out your energy.  “This way you can run your own life without being entangled in the drama.”

Those who choose to stay in relationships and situations despite the fact they are barraged with double-bind messages would do well to consider the following points:

• Realize the other party won’t change.
• Accept the person or situation as is without judgment; don’t take personally any negative statements aimed at you.
• Stop trying to makes sense of the scenario; decide what makes you happy, and do it no matter what’s going on.  Recognize that the other party won’t be happy with anything you do.
• If it’s work related, simply do what’s asked of you and go with the flow, all the while keeping your eyes open for another job.  Work-related double binds are usually more about being a team player and agreeing with the boss than actually getting the work done effectively.

If doing any of the above seems impossible for you to accept or do, you would probably do well to remove yourself completely from the person or situation.

What do you think?  Please share your comments in the boxes below…if you don’t see a box, click on the title of this post…THANKS!